Composerial Primaries 2016: Where They Stand on the Issues

trump wagner

Richard Wagner – #MakeOperaGreatAgain

  • Draws large crowds to his shows
  • Adherents are passionate, at times violently so
  • Says he wants to “build a great opera house – and nobody builds opera houses better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively!”


bernie messiaen

Olivier Messiaen – #FeelTheBirds

  • Believes in universal isorhythms with a single-talea system
  • Doesn’t believe modes of transposition should be limited to the top 1% of scales
  • Wants more public attention on the environment. Seems to like birds, and birds seem to like him.


Antonio Salieri – #TheMozartKiller

  • Jealous of the attention he isn’t getting
  • Very religious, believes that God has endowed him with special talents
  • He didn’t actually kill Mozart, but hey, looks can be deceiving



Clara Schumann – #ImWithIhr

  • The better half of German Romanticism’s power couple
  • Wants to continue/preserve the legacies of Obrahmsa1 and her husband
  • The husband is a famous composer/pianist too, but is known for nearly ending his career at its apex, having paid the price for putting his fingers where they didn’t belong


Bedrich Smetana

  • Wait…who’s this again?
  • Ah, it seems he only won bOHemia2 in the primaries


  1. Sorry about that.
  2. Really, truly sorry.


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One thought on “Composerial Primaries 2016: Where They Stand on the Issues

  1. Tony says:

    Very appropriate 🙂 Our musical forefathers predicted Democalypse 2016. #MakeAmericaGraveAgain


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